


White Carnations

by yespetnarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Harry, Endgame Niall Horan/Harry Styles, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Harry Styles - Freeform, Harry Styles Loves Niall Horan, M/M, Mild Smut, Narry - Freeform, Narry Stylan, Niall Horan - Freeform, Niall Horan Loves Harry Styles, Niall Horan/Harry Styles - Freeform, Niall Horan/Harry Styles Fluff, Niall Horan/Harry Styles Smut, Storan, Top Niall, narrie, narry storan - Freeform, soft smut, stylan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-07 20:52:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11631672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yespetnarry/pseuds/yespetnarry
Summary: the white carnation represents true love and good luck...the night before niall horan, the singer-songwriter, is about to head off on his world tour, his best friend, harry styles, shows up at his door to confess what he's been feeling for the past several years.





	White Carnations

The grey clouds in the sky seemed to almost taunt Harry as he walked down the street with a pair of white carnations in his hands. They didn't seem angry, just stressed, and Harry could relate to that. Anxiety sat on his chest like a heavy brick, suffocating him, giving him only just enough air to survive, but not enough to be satisfied. He was panicked, but who could blame him? He was about to admit his feelings to his best friend of seven years. 

Harry had practiced what he was going to say for the past week, but even now, as he walked down the street, growing nearer and nearer to Niall's apartment, he felt the words leaving his brain with each step. At this point, he just hoped that when Niall opened the door, the words would just spill out of his mouth and he wouldn't have to think about it ever again. 

Harry's hands were shaking, but not because the stormy breeze was nearly ice cold. They seemed to grow worse with each step he took, but he thought that might just be in his head. 

Harry didn't think Niall felt the same way, but Harry couldn't hold it in much longer. Every time they hung out, he could feel the words bubbling in his throat, ready to pop and explode. It made him feel like he had to vomit and he was getting tired of fighting back that feeling. He thought if he just purged the words from his system, he'd feel thousands of times better, and he was willing to take the risk of losing his best friend to get rid of this feeling. 

Harry adjusted the Green Bay Packers beanie on his head as the sun broke through an open space in the clouds and caught his knitted black sweater in it's grasp, warming his skin underneath. This was only for a few seconds, though, as the sun had been engulfed by the clouds again. 

As he reached the doors of his apartment complex, he clicked the buzzer and gulped as Niall's voice rang through with a cheery, "who is it?" 

"Harry, mate. Let me in.." Harry responded in the most casual tone he could muster. 

He pulled the door open as he heard the buzzer again and the loud click of the locks, taking slow, deep breaths in an attempt to be calmed down when he reached Niall's floor. 

Harry stepped on the elevator and pushed '7', his foot tapping anxiously as he felt the elevator begin moving upwards. He felt his stomach twist more and more with each soft _ding_ of the numbers changing, The feeling like he was going to vomit was growing stronger with each floor change, his heart thumping so loudly that he could hear it. 

When it stopped on the seventh floor, the doors opened and Harry stepped out, standing in the middle of the hallway that suddenly seemed miles long. Harry was so used to this route; step off the elevator, turn right, go three doors down, knock on the door on the left. However, now, the path seemed so foreign to him. He knew deep down in his mind what he had to do, but for some reason his body wouldn't move the way he needed it to. 

He felt like he was stood there for hours, but he was sure it was only a few seconds, before his feet finally carried him to the door. He couldn't actually remember how he had arrived at the door, but all he knew now was that he had to knock. 

His arms suddenly felt heavy, as though his hands were made of lead. His grip on the stems of the flowers tightened so much that his knuckles turned ghost white, his heart thumping even louder. 

And then... 

The door swung open and time stopped. Harry's eyes met Niall's, and he felt his heart skip a beat. When Niall smiled, Harry felt warm, as though he was under the sun. 

"What're you standin' out here for?" Niall spoke with a chuckle, and Harry felt like he was listening to the most beautiful song in the world. "Come in, mate." 

"I...I have something to tell you," Harry was finally able to speak. The words just came spilling to his mouth, and now he was struggling to hold them back, so when Niall raised an eyebrow out of curiosity, he let go. "I just need you to know this before you leave because I don't think I can keep this back anymore, and having you away will make it really hard to... if something happened, I would regret not telling you.." 

"Harry, I don't want us to have secrets. You’re my best friend... you can tell me anything," said Niall in a soft tone, his eyes falling to the two carnations in Harry's hand. 

Harry followed his gaze and lifted them up to be at the same height as his chest. "I'm not sure if you know what these represent, but um.." 

"No, I do... Are they for me?" 

Harry cleared his throat and nodded slowly, breathing in slowly. "I'm..." Harry paused, "in love with you. For the past couple of years, maybe even before that. It took me a long time to realize that what I was feeling was real and now every time I'm around you, I feel like I'm going to explode. Keeping this secret has just been so difficult and I know I'm rambling, but that's it. I love you, and I know you probably don't feel the same, but-" 

"I love you too." Niall cut Harry off, the smile on his face growing. Niall carefully reached out and took the flowers from Harry, his fingers brushing over Harry's. He lifted the flowers to his face and smiled as he smelled them, reaching out with his free hand and pulling Harry in. 

Harry was shocked and entirely lost for words. He melted under Niall, allowing him to pull him in and shut the door. This wasn't what Harry had expected. Truthfully, he had been expecting the absolute worst; a "what the fuck is wrong with you? I don't think we can be friends anymore" or possibly a quiet "Harry, I care about you, but I don’t feel the same way". However, Niall saying he loved him back was the _last_ thing he thought would happen. 

"Let's have some tea." Niall said with a smile and slipped his hand into Harry's, guiding him to the kitchen. 

"Tea?" Harry was finally able to speak again, his voice a soft whisper. 

"Tea." Niall repeated matter-of-factly. 

Harry nodded slowly, letting Niall lead him into the kitchen and sit him down at the table. 

Neither of them said a word as Niall prepared them each a cup of tea - ginger and lemon tea. While the kettle was heating, Niall put the flowers in a small vase with water. 

Then it was two cubes of sugar for Harry – he had the way Harry took his tea memorized from the countless times he had made him or watched him make a cup - and a teaspoon of honey for Niall. 

Niall set the cups down on the table then sat across from Harry, clearing his throat softly. He was the first to speak, "We should talk about this." 

Harry wasn't quite sure what he should say. He had opened and poured his heart out all over Niall so much so that he didn't think he had any words left in his system. Harry's mouth was hanging open, he was trying to think of what to say, but the words refused to come. 

Niall seemed to have noticed this and decided to be the one to speak, a slight smile on his face as he took a sip of his tea then set the cup down onto the table. "You've said a lot and it was all at once, so I'll talk." He told Harry, who nodded in response. "So, uh... I think it was pretty recent for me. I noticed you acting different around me. I was really trying to get things back to normal, Harry. I thought you were starting to hate me or... I don’t know. You seemed to be pulling away from me and when you started to do that, I began to realize that I _need_ you. And when I realized that I needed you, I realized that I loved you... and not in the 'you're my best friend' way. In the 'I can't stand to be away from you and I want to spend my entire life making you happy' kind of way." 

Niall suddenly fell silent and he and Harry just sat there, looking into each other's eyes. For a moment, Harry forgot that there was a world outside with people going on about their lives. He forgot that Niall would be leaving the next day. He forgot that they weren't the only people on this earth. 

Harry was out of words, and Niall appeared to be too, so the two of them sat there silently sipping their tea. It was hot and burned Harry's tongue, but he didn't even care. The man he loved, loved him back and that was all that mattered to him right now – mattered so much that all of his pain seemed to disappear. Nothing could bring him down from the intense happiness that radiated through his entire body. 

Harry set his cup down on the table, keeping his fingers wrapped loosely around it as they sat in silence. It was comfortable and easy – it always was with Niall. Understanding Niall was easy for Harry. They knew each other better than anyone else, and Harry didn't want to have it any other way. Harry and Niall loved each other. They really, really loved each other. 

"Being away is going to be hard... I mean, it already was going to be hard, but now leaving feels like it'll be impossible." Niall said after about fifteen minutes of silence, his cup empty and set down away from Niall. 

"Watching you leave will be even harder." Harry mumbled, his eyes moving up from his almost empty cup to meet Niall's eyes, who gave him a soft smile. 

"We're being ridiculous, aren't we? It's not like we won't talk all the time. We've both got phones and computers. Skype and FaceTime is a thing... and you can visit. We're being stupid, aren't we?" Niall spoke quickly, his fingers tapping on the table. 

Harry could tell he was almost trying to convince himself that those words were true, but decided not to comment on that. 

"I don't think so. You're going to be really busy and away and... we won't be able to talk every day. I know it." Harry was speaking softly, both of them staring into each others eyes. 

"Then we should make the most of tonight." 

"How?" 

Niall stood up and took Harry's hand, pulling Harry to his feet and bringing their bodies close together. "Be together." He answered quietly, moving his free hand to Harry's cheek. A mix between a smile and smirk fell across his lips as his thumb brushed along Harry's cheek then down to his bottom lip. "I've wanted to kiss these beautiful lips for so long. They're just so... perfect.." 

"So kiss me." Harry whispered so softly that he barely even heard himself, but he hoped Niall had. 

Thankfully, Niall had, and did as was requested. His hand that was holding Harry's moved to Harry's hip, while his hand that was on his cheek moved to the back of his neck, tugging Harry's face closer. 

Harry's heart was racing and his breathing was ragged - _What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm shit at kissing?_ \- his hands moving to Niall's waist as they both leaned towards each other and met somewhere in the middle. 

Niall's lips were soft and tasted like honey. 

Harry's lips were smooth and tasted like ginger. 

It was pure bliss. 

As Niall pulled back, Harry felt himself move forwards, as though to catch Niall's lips again. Niall chuckled and Harry opened his eyes to see Niall smiling up at him. And Harry smiled back, he felt everything fall away. All the stress and worry of not being good enough for Niall. 

"That was-" 

"Don't. I know." 

Niall grinned and moved his hand back into Harry's, guiding him out of the kitchen and down the dark hallway to Niall's bedroom. 

Harry had been down this hallway hundreds of times and knew it so well. From the charcoal colored wood floors to the soft grey ceiling, he knew it almost better than his own flat, but this time it felt different. It felt new – as though he were seeing it for the very first time – and even though the hall was dark, it felt brighter than ever before. 

During their time in the kitchen, the clouds in the sky had darkened and were now crying heavily onto the roof of the building, but neither of them cared. 

To Niall and Harry, this weather was perfect – this day was perfect – because they were _together_ and that's all either of them ever wanted. 

Harry had been in Niall's bedroom at least fifty times, but again, this felt new. This was the first time Harry was in his bedroom while they were _together_. 

Niall's bedroom was large, but cozy feeling. He had an entire wall that was one huge window, which was always covered by thick curtains. His bed, which had white sheets and a white comforter (Niall was very minimalistic), took up most of the space and faced the TV. On either side of the TV were doors, one leading to the bathroom and the other leading into the walk-in closet. Harry was truthfully jealous of Niall's flat, which was probably why he spent as much time there as he could stand. 

"Niall, are we... like... are we together?" Harry felt like he needed to ask. They hadn't discussed if they were boyfriends or friends or even dating, and Harry was desperate to know. 

"Tonight we are." Niall replied as he dropped Harry's hand and went over to the TV. While he spoke, he took out a DVD from a case and popped it into the player, "After tonight... well, I'm leaving, so either we can figure out what we are while I'm on the road or when I get back. For now, we're together." Niall added, turning around to face Harry. 

Harry nodded and took a deep breath, standing next to the bed. "What are we watching?" He asked, deciding not to push any further. Tonight they were together, and after that, it could be decided. 

"Love Actually... I know you like those rom-coms.." Niall answered, walking back to Harry. "Thought we could just sit in bed and watch the movie... I guess a kind a first date type thing, yeah?" He chuckled. 

Niall was already set for bed, sweatpants and a loose tee. While Harry, on the other hand, couldn't sleep in clothes. He had to either be in his boxers or nothing. 

Niall knew this, and this wouldn't be the first time they had laid in a bed together, but somehow this felt different to Harry. 

"Harry, things aren't different. You're still my best friend. We just kiss and love each other now." Niall said with a laugh as he fell into bed, putting his hands behind his head. 

Harry couldn't help but smile, nodding his head as he stripped down to his boxers and fell into bed beside Niall. They smiled at each other then turned to watch the film. 

20 minutes in, their fingers were locked and Niall's thumb was rubbing Harry's knuckles. 

35 minutes in, Harry's head was resting on Niall's shoulder and Niall's arm was around his shoulders. 

An hour and five minutes in and they had completely forgotten the movie was playing, the two of them now laying sideways with their lips locked. 

The kiss was soft at first, soft and gently. Niall had made the first move, tipping his head down and tucking his fingers under Harry's chin. Niall was slow, almost hesitant and careful, as though Harry were made of glass. 

Then it became firm and needy, their bodies turning to face each other entirely as they slid so they were laying down. 

Harry's arm slid under Niall's, grabbing at the back of his shoulder as Niall's hands went to Harry's head. Niall pushed the beanie off and his fingers into Harry's hair, gently tugging on the soft curls, which earned a quiet groan to form in the back of Harry's throat. Niall smirked against Harry's lips, moving their bodies so he was on top of him. Harry's knees gripped Niall's waist, Niall grinding his hip bones against Harrys. 

They stayed like this, kissing and running their hands all over each other, for the next ten minutes. Harry wanted to continue, but he didn’t want to go too far, so he pulled away. 

"Harry.." Niall muttered, almost a soft growl, needy and desperate. 

"I don't want to have sex tonight. I can't do that and then watch you leave tomorrow." Harry whispered, opening his eyes too look up at the love of his life. 

"That's okay. It's our first night _together_ and our last night together for a while, so I agree." Niall responded, brushing his thumb along Harry's cheekbone he moved to lay back beside Harry. 

But Harry stopped him, tightening his grip on the back of Niall's shoulders and pulling their bodies together. "Just because we aren't going to have sex, doesn’t mean we can't just keep on kissing... and touching... and being... intimate.." He whispered, feeling his breathing suddenly pick up. Now that Harry had actually kissed Niall, he never wanted to stop. 

Niall smiled at him, the tips of their noses brushing against each other as he nodded. "Whatever you want." He whispered, leaning into Harry until their lips met again. 

Niall was warm – a comforting warm that made Harry feel safe and loved, but to be fair, Harry always felt like that with Niall. 

Harry's hands went up the back of Niall's shirt, his fingers tracing the shape of his spine. He wanted to feel the warmth of Niall's skin, the ridges and indents of dimples and scars that made Niall _Niall_. 

Niall seemed to understand this and immediately sat up, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it across the room. 

Tonight wasn't about sex. Tonight was about learning each other. Touching, feeling, memorizing every inch of each other. 

Niall grabbed the hem of Harry's sweater, pushing it up just over his belly button as he leaned down. He pressed his lips to one of the laurel tattoos on his hips, a smile spreading across his lips as he felt Harry's hands in his hair. Moving back up to hover over Harry, he pressed a kiss to his forehead and pushed his sweater the rest of the way off. 

Harry smiled and set his hands on Niall's cheeks, pulling him down so their lips met again. 

Niall gripped Harry's waist, grinding his hips against Harry's. Both of them moaned together, Harry loving the way Niall was gripping his waist and Niall loving the way Harry's hips moved against his. 

They fit. 

The two of them stayed like that, kissing each other's lips and necks and grinding their hips together until they were sticky and sweaty and sleepy. 

Niall fell beside Harry, pushing his hair off of his forehead before he pulled the sheets over their bodies, 

"Niall?" Harry whispered, deciding to push off his boxers and set them on the floor with the rest of his clothes – he always preferred to sleep naked, anyways. 

"Yes, pet?" Niall whispered back, turning onto his side to face Harry. 

Harry wasn't sure what he wanted to say, or if he even had anything to say. Finally, he found something. "Can we spoon?" He whispered. 

Niall smiled and moved closer to Harry, who turned his back to Niall. The blonde slipped his arm around the brunet, pressing his face into the back of his shoulder. 

"Goodnight, Harry." 

"Goodnight, Niall." 

\--- 

Morning cam around faster than Harry would have hoped for, and when he woke up, he was alone. The flowers he had brought for Niall, were now on the nightstand beside the bed, along with a plate of eggs and toast and a small piece of paper from what Harry recognized as Niall's personal notepad. 

As Harry took a look around the room, his eyes adjusting to the light coming through the small crack in the curtains, he noticed Niall's suitcase was gone. Niall had left, and Harry was all alone in his apartment. 

And he knew that Niall was only a text or phone call away, but it felt like half of him was missing and he wouldn't see Niall for a long, long time. 

Harry sat up in bed and carefully picked up the piece of paper, smiling down at the words that Niall had written. 

_To Do List:_

_1\. Love Harry forever_

**Author's Note:**

> based on a moodmoard my mutual @niallerar on twitter made for me


End file.
